Oscars 03/03/2014

03/03/2014

2062 words, and counting. I'm planning on writing some more today.

So the Oscars were last night. Am I supposed to capitolize the "O" in Oscars? I don't know because I hate them. No, I'm not the kind of guy who hates how "political" they are or, how this person lost to this person or whatever. I just dislike the constant praise for whichever movie had the longest runtime. It might be that my idea of what makes a good movie is far skewed from everyone else's, but it might also just be that I really dislike awards shows.

I was just telling a friend of mine that my favorite description of a movie is "Kurt Russell shoots people." This is what entertains me, to be honest. I like sitting back and enjoying over-the-top action. I went with my wife and her family to see "American Hustle," mostly because Amy Adams was said to get naked in that film (LIES--She only gets mostly naked). To me, it was two and half hours of people talking with tense looks on their faces. I understand there was more to it than that, and I get what the film was trying to do/say through and through, I was just bored. I was in the minority leaving that movie theater. I remember when Christian Bale's character reaches for a gun in a safe, and I thought, "Finally, some actual action," then we as an audience never see that gun again, which I find annoyingly misleading as well as sloppy writing--don't include elements that are just never going to be shown again, unless there's some real significance. I have not seen any of the other Oscar nominees, aside from Gravity which was a great movie because it was a legitimate thriller with some good acting. They even ruined James Bond; he was the pinnacle of over-the-top action and ridiculous story-telling, and when Daniel Craig entered the scene, it needed to be gritty and real. I don't want gritty and real. Gritty and real is on the news, along with the opinions of people who want to tell me how horrible one side of the political parties are. I want Sylvester Stallone snarling at mercenaries before he massacres them without reloading.

So I never care about the Oscars. Movies I like never win. They never even come close. Sometimes they get the "best sound editing" or "best sound mixing" Oscars, but everyone knows those are the "I'm gonna take a leak now" Oscars. So I'm going to sit on my happy, lonely hill with movies like "Soldier" and "Crank," or any "Die Hard" or "Rambo" film. That's not to say I don't like heavier films, I sometimes really do, but when it comes to wanting to simply be entertained for a few hours, I want meaningless fun. I'd be less annoyed if there was a "best action film" Oscar, or even a "best comedy" but that's not going to happen, for some reason.

Okay, this has been a rant, so I'm going to move on. Later!

Bishop