Resolutions 03/31/2014

03/31/2014

2172 words completed today.

Which puts me well into the 100k mark, and only two chapters left. Resolution chapters, as it turns out, because I just finished the climax today! Resolution is fun, and often something I find lacking. It might just be a sense of wanting “more” of what happens to the characters of a good story, but I find that lately a lot of stories and movies are ending too abruptly. I want the resolution, the after-effects, the epilogue!

My first book has a rather short, but sweet resolution. It’s very present in the story, and gives a good sense of what happens just after the events of the first book… but even still I wanted to write more. It’s part of why I wrote a second book with those characters. This time, I’ll be offering a bit more in the way of the resolution, and I’m rather excited to write it, as it lets me focus on the characters and their relationships to one another. My favorite stuff!

Bishop

Side Characters 03/28/2014

03/28/2014

2109 words today, huzzah! So. Close. To the end. Of. Book. 2.

So, what to talk about today..? Characters! Yes, characters. I’ve touched on them in the past, and today I want to talk about side characters more specifically. It’s my favorite aspect of writing, really, to create side characters who paint a picture about the world I’m creating. In both of my books I work hard to create little side characters who exist for really only a chapter or two and give the main characters contrast.

They’re always simple, but I really flesh them out in their dialogue. I try to make them as alive as (and sometimes more alive than) my main characters. They provide a real grounding for the setting, and make a colorful believable world. So, I suppose, if there’s something to take away from this rather short blog post its that I feel that a world exists best when dotted with a few characters that enhance the animation of the setting. This may seem somewhat obvious, but when I first started out in high school, I glossed over some of the details of the side characters that really could have enhanced the story, a lot. I’m very proud to say that I’ve grown in that respect, and sometimes find myself loving my side characters more than my main characters. Sometimes.

Bishop

Length 03/27/2014

03/27/2014

Another 2275 words down, and edited another chapter of book 1. Rockin’ day.

My second book is not going to be quite as long as I expected it to be. Book 1 came in at about 105k (after some editing, it’s down to 104k, and more to cut), and book 2 is currently 95,600 words. I the rest of the climax will take me only a few thousand more, probably three or four thousand, and then the resolution will most likely be another three to four. Originally, going into this second story, I was expecting it to be around 150k. I ended up making changes to the plot as things unfolded (because they unfolded much better than I had half-planned them to), and things just sort of flew by. I expect that book 2 will be about as long as book 1, maybe a smidge longer.

But that’s okay. I liked the length of book 1, I think it puts the book in a very publishable position, as sci-fi novel ranges for first time publishing range around 100k as a nice length and it was enough room to tell the story I wanted without over writing or under writing anything. I suppose I worried too much about the length from the beginning, but I just love the feeling of counting down until I hit my desired endpoint that I got caught up wondering where that endpoint was. I estimate that book 2’s first draft will have its final word in place by the end of the month, and I could not be happier with it so far. As a first draft, it stands up with far fewer mistakes than book 1 (which required a LONG first edit) and I’m excited to be able to dive into publishing with an extra volume in my back pocket in case the unthinkably wonderful happens and they say, “Have you thought about a sequel?”

Here’s to dreaming!

Bishop

A Thank You 03/26/2014

03/26/2014

2129 words written today! Also did a bit of editing on book 1, something I’ve been avoiding for no reason at all lately.

I’m sorry to report that I don’t have any topics to discuss today. It’s been a very exhausting one, as I had a lot of work to do at work, and so I’ve not had much time to think anything up. So for now, I’ll just say this. To anyone reading this blog, thank you. I appreciate your support, in a blog that is largely just for me to report my word counts and hold myself accountable for my process. If you like, comment below about anything I write about. Though, I doubt there’s many of you out there right now, partly because I have no published work (self or otherwise) that you can have as a reference for what I do. I hope this is going to change soon, and when it does I hope you’ll keep reading, or start reading if you haven’t already.

That being said, I also invite you to join my journey if you’re a fellow writer. In the comments you can post your word counts for each day and we can do this together. If 2k is too much (or too little!) go ahead and make your own goal and report it. I doubt there’s anyone really consistently following yet, but the offer stands. I’d love to be encouraged by you and hope that I encourage you in some way. Thanks for reading, and see you tomorrow!

Bishop

Beta Readers 03/25/2014

03/25/2014

2985 Words written… YESTERDAY!

That’s right, I missed a post! But of course you noticed that. Right? You read every day, right?! Of course you don’t. Anyway, so you’ll end up getting two today, how lucky for you!

I’ll spend this first one being a little sappy. I really appreciate beta readers. If you’re a beta reader out there, good on you. It’s difficult to get people to put in the time and commitment to read, let alone read something that’s admittedly not quite finished. I know how important these people are because I’m in this stage right now, trying to get people to read my first novel. Sometimes, even the people closest in your life are unwilling, and I can’t say I blame them. I forget who said it, but someone said, “Asking someone to read your unpublished manuscript is assault in most states.” Because of this, I try and support other writers I know and give them my opinion on their work as best I can.

So, here’s to you, beta reader!

Bishop

Caffeine! 03/24/2014

03/24/2014

2085 words today! Woo!

Book 2 has passed the 89,000 word mark, and our heroes are in the throes of the tense “act 3.” Should be exciting once it actually hits shelves and/or e-readers. Soon… sooooooooon…

Anyway, I really don’t have much to talk about today.  Haha! Okay, that was a lie.

One of the things I’ve been discussing (what are the odds I start with that statement?) is narrative style. To be first or third? (Or even second person, if it’s a choose your own adventure novel) Past or present tense? I write in third person past tense, every time. Except on this blog, of course. It might be a personal preference, and it might be just a straight up bias, but I really dislike the present tense narratives. First person usually goes hand in hand when the book is present tense, and while I dislike first person narratives less than I dislike the present tense, it still puts me off.

I suppose it’s because of what I read. I like sci-fi, cheap or classic. Generally (though obviously not exclusively) these books are written in the classic third person past narrative. That’s how I read, and how I’ve always written. It’s what I’m comfortable with, what I love. A lot of people will tell you to write what’s comfortable for you, but I agree with Stephen King when he writes in his book On Writing, that unless you have a very specific reason to write in the first person, write it in third person. It’s just, to me, a more formal looking story style, and makes for an easier read. I get very sick of people saying “I” and “me” all the time.

See, that was a joke, because I say “I” all the time on this blog!

PS, can you tell I've had a lot of caffeine today?

Bishop

Failure 03/23/2013

03/23/2014

“Bishop!” You say, “You buffoon! You’re posting on a Sunday and failed to post on your work Saturday!” Yes, you’re correct! I worked yesterday, and did some writing (1563 words) and got caught up reading books to actually post. Sorry! You might also note that the number in parentheses above is not above 2k. My first failure! To make up for it, I wrote an additional 2418 words today, making for a weekend total of 3981! So, I’ll call it a half victory? Will you accept that? No? Alright… I failed.

But, that’s the nature of the beast. In any case, the nearly 4k I wrote this weekend was a new project, an idea that came to my head while driving to work on Saturday, grabbing my food from the window at the Hardee’s drive-thru. What can I say, I love sausage biscuits. It began as a novella, but as the idea shifted and grew in my head when writing it, I realized it had a lot of potential to be a full-length novel. It’s set in the same universe that my main series is based in, but earlier in time.

I’m really enjoying writing it, but have a nagging sensation of incompletion of book 2 of the series, which is sitting firmly at 87,000 words right now. I think my plan, for now, will be to work on book 2 throughout the week and anytime I spend working at home, it will be on the new project, at least until book 2 is done, which shouldn’t be long.

Anyway, that was a fun little rant and acceptance of failure. See you tomorrow!

Bishop

Inspiration Part III 03/21/2014

03/21/2014

2156 words down today.

I’ve been discussing inspiration in my last couple blog posts, so I figured I might as well make it a trilogy. Inspiration is, as I’ve said, truly different for every person who creates. It works differently for each person because we each work differently. It truly is as they always told me as a child, we’re all like little snowflakes.

That being said, I do believe that the only thing a writer can do is write. Be there inspiration or not, a writer must write, or he stagnates. That isn’t to say that an artist does not need to push through whether or not there’s inspiration. I don’t know enough about painting or drawing to make that statement one way or the next. For writing, though, it’s imperative that the writer beats his inspiration to submission and makes it work for him. What inspires me lately is reading. I read and it makes me want to write, and write better. For some people it may be different, but the necessity remains.

A writer must write in order to be a writer, and so if you wait for inspiration to come along, you’ll wake up one day and realize you’re waiting for nothing. Your waiting turns into raw procrastination, and stagnation occurs. This is the entire reason I began my 2K-a-day personal challenge. It’s the reason why NaNoWriMo exists—to get people habitually writing without the necessity of waiting for some divine moment of clarity.  Don’t wait for it. Hunt it.

Tomorrow is my work Saturday, so expect an update!

Bishop

Inspiration and Reading 03/20/2014

03/20/2014

Ah, another 2425 words down!

Continuing what I was talking about yesterday, inspiration is something, for me, that is derived from reading other works. I get a drive and an ambition, and try my hardest to incorporate what I learn from those books and make my own story that’s unique. I’ve been speaking with others who disagree with the idea entirely, and go so far as to say that reading is not necessary to writing well.

Before I go too far into this, I will admit there was a time when I thought this. I read in college for my classes, obviously, but never read much farther than that. How wrong I was. As I read now, I see how much it improves my writing. It not only inspires me to write certain elements and teaches me how to tell a good story, it overall improves my style and technique as well. I’m driven to write more than I was before, and to write better. Now, I work hard to set aside time for reading, as it pushes me to be a better writer, either to out-do some of the bad books I read (and those also teach me what not to do) but also to strive for greatness like the good books I read. There is a lesson in every book, good or bad, and each lesson makes you better as a writer.

So, while it is possible to be a literary prodigy and be amazing at writing without ever really reading actively… I wonder how much potential is lost by believing the opposite. I wonder how many competent writers that don’t read could be made great writers by reading. I wonder what kind of prolific works they could churn out if they found that drive and inspiration in a book that most writers already embrace. In any case, tonight I plan on going home, relaxing, and reading a good chunk of the book I’m in the middle of, and in the process I promise I’ll learn something about writing.

Bishop

Inspiration 03/19/2014

03/19/2014

2083 words today! And I intend to work on it later tonight as well.

One thing that I’ve been discussing is the age-old question of where story ideas come from.  Some people believe in some abstract “inspiration” that just comes to them. This isn’t the case for me. I pine over settings, not stories. I think about people and cultures within the world I want to set my story, and soon the story comes out.

Inspiration to me is more like “I read/saw/played this, and it made me want to do something similar.” Science fiction, as a genre, is littered with great works inspired by great works. It’s visible in the technology that’s described most of all. How many works, after all, use a warp drive? To other people, inspiration is what “happens” that makes them think of a story idea, but to me this is more of an epiphany. Whatever you call it, I honestly believe that stories do not get written this way. Well, let’s be fair: they do. I just believe that writers who are prolific and write constantly and write well do not depend on random moments of inspiration. Mine is more of a fluctuating level of “inspiration.”

Obviously, I write every day. I’m not always innately inspired. Some days, I’m just trying to get through the writing (like today) but I still do my best to make it the best writing I can. You’ll see these “uninspired” days in my counts. On a good day, I’ll hit past 2500, as I just couldn’t stop. On a bad day? I’ll be below 2100. The writing is still good, I just didn’t particularly have the drive I might have had another day. It doesn’t mean I’m uninspired, though, it just means I’m not as inspired.

 My moments of epiphany, though, are more like problems being solved. How does character X get out of the situation I put him in when I wrote today? These ones come to me in the car or in the shower, and it just hits me. My brain is constantly hammering on in the background, trying to solve the problem and at one point, it just comes together.  Now, this blog post is rambling, so I’m going to end it here. Maybe I’ll have more thoughts on this tomorrow…

Bishop

Perseverance 03/18/2014

03/18/2014

2771 words written today.

And so begins the first part of the climax of book 2! I’m now 80,000 words in and the villain’s evil plan is finally coming into place. Now begins the desperate struggle to stop him, even with our heroes in a weakened position.

I’ve been reading a little about worried writers who are depressed or upset about some aspect of writing. I worry for these writers, and feel their pain, but I think there’s only one way to get past this sort of feeling of inadequacy or inaction that comes from any creative task: create.  I’ve said before, that what makes a writer is not this or that, it’s writing. If you write, and write constantly, you’re a writer. If you paint and paint constantly you’re a painter. If you carpent and carpent constantly, you’re a carpenter. (Though, that might be wrong, I know nothing of carpentering.) In any case, if you’re bogged down by your own personal feelings of failure, be them correct or not, the only way to relieve yourself from it is to persevere past it.

I am not the best writer. I know that. I’m probably not even a great writer. I’m definitely a competent writer. But there are times I’m embarrassed by what I’ve written. Sometimes it’s the poor quality of the prose, or just the inability to keep things straight in my head, but either way the only way I can fix it and continue is to do just that. Continue. Editing makes things right again, and there’ll always be time for it. So, writer… write on. Type away your worries and your blues, and just get the story down. Once it’s there, then you can worry about if it’s good or not. Only if it’s down in its entire completion, and only after you’ve had a chance to edit it properly. Even then, don’t judge yourself too harshly, though I know I often do.

Bishop 

Recurring Elements 03/17/2014

03-17-2014

2380 words written today!

Happy St. Patrick’s day! It’s a Monday, so try not to get too drunk, alright? As for writing, I’ve been extra motivated recently. I’m building to that downhill slide that is the climax of the novel. The downhill part comes with how easy it is to write. The climax is really the only part of the book I think about as I go, because I do think that planning it out just a little bit is conducive to a healthy plot. In my books, I build toward events and have things that need to be recalled back to. This requires some forethought, because if I just wrote, these elements might not always come back the way I want to design them to.

Some writers who just write will go back and fix these issues later.  They’ll get it on the first edit, but I try to get it on the first draft. Obviously, some things will need revision or be forgotten, but that’s natural. If I work to plan for certain things to be recurring elements or building plot toward the climax, I can make a more intertwined web of a story. Basically, if I have something hinted at in chapter one and don’t plan a spot for it to recur near the end, I will lose it in the narration and will need to rewrite it out, or write it in at the end.  But, such is the danger of being a man of little planning. It all seems very obvious, but it can be difficult to get right.

Bishop

A Fresh Perspective 03/14/2014

03/14/2014

2029 words done today, a little lower because of a serious headache. This puts the book total at 74,596 words, or about 3/5 of the way finished, I estimate.

I’ve started editing my first book again, after nearly a month of just “letting it sit.” I had no idea quite how necessary that part of the process was. Not the editing, the letting it sit. As I began my editing, I read the revised prologue, it worked pretty well. I write it after the rest of the book and after the first two rounds of editing when I’d ironed out some bad habits I had when I started the book. Bear in mind, when I began book one, I hadn’t written since college, which has been a couple of years now. When I delved into chapters one and two, there were issues. Big issues. Issues I missed in edits one and two. Things were over-described or needlessly wordy, and some stuff was just poorly said.

I realize now that leaving it alone is what I need to do. I recommend trying it if you’re a fellow writer, especially if you have a habit of finding yourself being wordy. You come back about thirty days later and the reading is fresh, it’s new, it’s easy to see errors that aren’t quite as glaring. So, I’m beginning edit round number three, and after that I’ll be looking for an agent to represent the work. Here’s hoping it’ll be good news down the line. And if not? I’ll write another, and another, and another until I have good news for you. As you might expect, I’ll be documenting this process all the while.

Bishop

Keeping Score 03/13/2014

03/13/2014

2360 words today, making 10861 for the week, already over goal!

Book 2 has passed the 72k mark, and I’m really flying high on the emotion of it. When I start my works, that word counter is like a score keeper. I watch it get higher and higher and with it comes my self esteem. I feel like I’m truly accomplishing something with the number’s rising digits. I celebrate everyday when I pass 2k, but I really feel good when I hit those tens. 10k, still a long way to go, but that’s a decent chunk down. 20k, even more so. 30, 40, 50… It all just feels better and better until I hit around the 90k mark.

With both books, I have had a dip around 60k where I worry I’m not doing right by the story. Am I not good enough? Am I not writing as well as so-and-so would? This bogs me down a bit and it can be tough to really hit my stride. Around 90k, though, it’s the opposite. I’ve only hit 90k once, and that was with book 1, but when I hit 90k, I was so ecstatic and could so easily see the end in sight, that I pushed hard. Probably too hard, in fact. I burned 6k the day after I hit 90, and another 9k the day after that to finish the book. I had to go back and expand some sections because I rushed through them so much at the end, but I’ve never felt so driven to do anything creative in my life. I pushed myself to write constantly in those two days, and the second day I stayed up late just to make sure it finished. And it did.

Hitting “The End” on a book is a feeling of immense accomplishment. I would say it’s akin to finishing a marathon, but I have never run a marathon (and never intend to, but I am in awe of those who do).  If it feels half as good as finishing a novel, then it probably feels pretty damn good.

Bishop

Exposition Position 03/12/2014

03/12/2014

2061 words today, and barely made it in time before work ended.

Today was all about exposition. It’s a horrendous thing when done improperly, and can destroy the illusion of your characters. If they just say something like “As you know…” and go into a long-winded exposition about their evil plans, you’ve lost everything to the exposition demon. No one believes it. It’s not how people speak, it’s not how characters would speak, and if they already knew it, why did they need to talk about it? It makes no sense.

My book just introduced the plan of the final villain (well, one major part of the plan) by it actually happening before the reader’s eyes. It seems like a simple, stupid statement, but I decided to keep the reader in the dark and have the plan gradually come out. The villain in my book is all about strategy and misdirection, so it works well. He’s still got tricks up his sleeve, including a plan B, but those are for later. The best thing about it is that I drop clues and give hints along the way that build into the later reveals. As always, I might be doing it wrong. It might not be that great, but that’s what editing is for. I’m hoping that the reader gets to the reveal and goes, “Oh! That’s what that was all about before! That makes so much sense!” and my villain comes off as a genius. That’s the hope, anyway.

Bishop

Outlining for the Edit 03/11/2014

03/11/2014

2146 words down today.

They say Tuesdays are the most depressing days of the week, which I can understand. You’re coming off of a Monday, so you’re not feeling well rested like after a weekend day, and you’ve still got a long way to go in the week. So, here’s to all of you trudging through Tuesday! It’ll be Friday before too long.

Anyway, today’s writing got a bit emotional, and I’ve been reading peoples’ thoughts on writing emotionally tense or charged scenes, and I realized something about myself. I came to understand that when I write, especially in these more emotionally tense scenes, I write them first with a “tell” attitude. I sort of just say “she could tell he felt devastated” or “he couldn’t contain his fear.” When I go back and edit, though, I expand on these things. I change them from “she could tell he felt devastated,” to something more descriptive like, “his eyes stared back at her, unblinking and wavering with shock. His breath came in short, frightful sips.” That might be an overstatement, but the idea is there. When I write, I sometimes am almost outlining what I want to say, and when I edit I go back and say, “Hm. No, that’s not nearly what it should be.”

This just furthers my belief that Hemingway was right when he said, “The first draft of anything is shit.”

Bishop

Dreams 03/10/2014

03/10/2014

SOURCE: Anything Comic

2095 words written today!

I have vivid dreams. One of the things I do when I have a vivid dream that particularly makes me think of a story idea or plot point (or solves an issue I'm having) I record it. Technology is wonderful, and where once I had a piece of paper and a pen by my sleeping area, I now have a cell phone. I use a Samsung, and what's wonderful about them is that they come with an app that's basically a notepad where you can record stuff, and I have one dedicated to story ideas I come up with in dreams. Last night I solved a plot issue I was worried about as my brain solved the problem in my head. Of course, it also advised that I make the villain of my story reveal himself to be a million years old at the end, and has kept himself alive by magic. The sleep giveth, and the sleep taketh away.

I also stay up far too late most nights, which leads me to use my breaks at work for napping. As I write this entry, I just took a nap, wherein I dreamed, albeit briefly, and in the time it took me to go from the break room where I napped, back to my office where I planned to record the dream on my phone, I forgot the dream. I know it was nothing major relating to my plot, or even a story idea, but it was funny and now I'm sad I didn't just instantly put what I remembered into my phone.

In any case, I'm sure it had something to do with goats, as I remember I was reading about the upcoming video game "Goat Simulator." Which is why I worry I missed out on remembering something great.

Bishop

Correction: 2334 words today, went back and added a little more.

By Hand or By Type 03/07/2014

03/07/2014

2628 words today! Happy Friday!

Slow day at work, it let me finish much earlier than usual as well as get over 2600 words done. I might end up writing some more later today just because I have the extra time.

I wonder if I would have been able to write as prolifically as I do without a computer. I love computers, for so many reasons, but one of the biggest is word processing. I cannot imagine the necessity of writing everything out onto paper. I have horrific penmanship, mostly because if I have the option, I type. Every time. In college, I wrote in notebooks while I ignored my professors' lectures, but even then I wished I had a laptop in those days (My primary computer is always a desktop, for gaming, and it wasn't until I was given a personal laptop at my job that I had a more portable option). I told myself so many times that I would go back and type up those older stories, but I never did. I never did it when I was in college, and I doubt I will now.

Even the typewriter annoys me--it's horrendous with formatting, and mistakes were permanent unless you had one of those from the 80s and 90s that actually had white-out ink. I used one for about a week, mainly for the curiosity of it, and quickly became annoyed at having to interrupt my trains of thought to pull pages and put in new ones. I can only imagine having these as my only options. I definitely would have a rough time reaching the goal I work toward every day. So I suppose... thank the gods for computers!

I clearly owe Bill Gates a beer.

Bishop

Pace and Thursdays 03/06/2014

03/06/2014

2089 Words today.

It's Thursday today. That's almost as good as Friday, but really not even close.

My characters are taking things in directions I didn't expect. Really, they're being jerks about it too, laughing at me from inside my mind as they take control of the narrative and go off and do their own things. It makes for better story-telling, but boy, they were being awfully smug about it today.

I've been a bit disappointed with my pace as well. Not the pacing of the book, that seems to be working well, but my own writing speed. I've hit my goal as needed since I started the book, and especially since I started the blog. But it's not quite as intense as when I finished the first book. By the end, I was at 4K a day, and on the last day of writing book one, I hit just under 10K. It was a good day. I think it has something to do with the impending completion of the piece, and right now I'm so in the middle that my mind is feeling a little tired and like there's no end in sight. Either way, I'm to soldier on and continue this quest! Hopefully, nearer to the end of the work, you'll see me posting numbers much higher than 2089.

Bishop

Continuity 03/05/2014

03/05/2014

2028 words today, another busy day at work that kept me from going too far above my goal.

Continuity was an issue of mine today. It's an issue that plagues a lot of writers who fire from the hip and just write as they go. I had to double back a little and make a few adjustments when I realized that I should have referenced this earlier. I also needed to dip back a couple of chapters to see what I already referenced that I needed to use. I want to avoid putting in unnecessary things that never get seen again. In my eyes, if it's not important to the plot or to a character's development or background, it's generally tough to find a reason to put it into a book.

With sci-fi (and fantasy, too) I have the luxury of readers expecting a bit more book for their buck. I can be a little extra wordy, or throw in some otherwise not totally necessary world-building in order to create an atmosphere that's not familiar to the reader. Even still, I try not to go off on a tirade of back story for a character who has one insignificant line. Also, if the line is insignificant enough, I think the line can be omitted. Then if the character's not saying or doing anything important anymore, get rid of that character! Writing can be tough in this way, because you can see and imagine great things, but they're not necessarily useful in the book, and can bog it down and ruin your pacing or destroy your readers patience and interest.

In any case, for me, it's all about the editing. I'll be able to see how badly I maintained continuity in the first revision.

Bishop

Middles 03/04/2014

03/04/2014

2024 words today, barely made the goal.

I'm at a tough spot that I'm sure a lot of writers get into. I'm between two great moments of action in that all-important middle of my book. This puts me at 54,310 words so far into book 2, which is somewhere between halfway and one third of the way through what I plan to write. The middle can be hard, for many many writers, but especially for writers that don't really plan the entire book out (pantsers, as we're called). It's difficult to keep the action rising toward the climax without accidentally sagging the middle, or letting certain elements drag on for length purposes. A lot of panters like myself have a beginning and a climax in mind (some have even less when they start) and making them connect is the tough part.

I've got a vague idea of what I'm going to do with this middle section, and I hardly think it's sagging, I'm merely having trouble connecting two points of the narrative to one another. My characters are spread out geographically right now, so I have to shift from one to another and keep the narrative interesting and keep the elements of mystery that I'm trying to maintain. As I always say, I think I'm doing well, but that will really only be seen in editing.

Bishop

Oscars 03/03/2014

03/03/2014

2062 words, and counting. I'm planning on writing some more today.

So the Oscars were last night. Am I supposed to capitolize the "O" in Oscars? I don't know because I hate them. No, I'm not the kind of guy who hates how "political" they are or, how this person lost to this person or whatever. I just dislike the constant praise for whichever movie had the longest runtime. It might be that my idea of what makes a good movie is far skewed from everyone else's, but it might also just be that I really dislike awards shows.

I was just telling a friend of mine that my favorite description of a movie is "Kurt Russell shoots people." This is what entertains me, to be honest. I like sitting back and enjoying over-the-top action. I went with my wife and her family to see "American Hustle," mostly because Amy Adams was said to get naked in that film (LIES--She only gets mostly naked). To me, it was two and half hours of people talking with tense looks on their faces. I understand there was more to it than that, and I get what the film was trying to do/say through and through, I was just bored. I was in the minority leaving that movie theater. I remember when Christian Bale's character reaches for a gun in a safe, and I thought, "Finally, some actual action," then we as an audience never see that gun again, which I find annoyingly misleading as well as sloppy writing--don't include elements that are just never going to be shown again, unless there's some real significance. I have not seen any of the other Oscar nominees, aside from Gravity which was a great movie because it was a legitimate thriller with some good acting. They even ruined James Bond; he was the pinnacle of over-the-top action and ridiculous story-telling, and when Daniel Craig entered the scene, it needed to be gritty and real. I don't want gritty and real. Gritty and real is on the news, along with the opinions of people who want to tell me how horrible one side of the political parties are. I want Sylvester Stallone snarling at mercenaries before he massacres them without reloading.

So I never care about the Oscars. Movies I like never win. They never even come close. Sometimes they get the "best sound editing" or "best sound mixing" Oscars, but everyone knows those are the "I'm gonna take a leak now" Oscars. So I'm going to sit on my happy, lonely hill with movies like "Soldier" and "Crank," or any "Die Hard" or "Rambo" film. That's not to say I don't like heavier films, I sometimes really do, but when it comes to wanting to simply be entertained for a few hours, I want meaningless fun. I'd be less annoyed if there was a "best action film" Oscar, or even a "best comedy" but that's not going to happen, for some reason.

Okay, this has been a rant, so I'm going to move on. Later!

Bishop